Stay happy and clear of sight

I was reading the recent FHM (For Him Magazine) and YES I read the FHM. What put a wider smile on my face besides those bikini babes was 2 jokes in their ‘Bar Room Jokes’ column. I have decided to share them so enjoy them big time! The 1st joke was the winner for this week.

Turning the Knob

Instead of getting a facelift, a woman agrees to get surgery called “The Knob”. A lever is placed on her head that, when turned, tightens up her skin to produce the effect of a new facelift. Over the course of the next few years, she keeps tightening the knob and remains youthful. After 15 years, however, the woman returns.” I’ve turned the knob many times and I’ve loved the results,” she says. “But now I’ve developed these bags under my eyes.” The doctor looks at her and reveals, “Those aren’t bags, those are your breasts.” “Oh,” she replies, “I guess there’s no point in asking about the goatee.”

Rich Ditch

A young girl misses her period for 2 months… Her worried mum makes her take a pregnancy test and it’s positive!

Cursing and crying, the mother screams,” Who was the pig who did this!?!”

The girl makes a call and twenty minutes later a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man, wearing a very expensive suit, steps out and enters the house. He greets the parents, “Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation, but I’ll take the responsibility. If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail stores, a beach villa and 1 million dollars. If a boy is born, he will receive a couple of factories and two million. If it is twins, I will give five factories each and five million to each child. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?”

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places his hand firmly on the man’s shoulder and tells him:” You can try again!”

Off for some dry swimming on this rainy season. Wish me luck!

Whenever you are sad and loss, please remember this.
Hua wu bai ri hong, ren wu qian ri hao.

Direct translation goes like this.
Flower doesn’t always remain red, same goes for man who doesn’t always have a good life.