Every year there is Christmas, my birthday and a New Year. However for the recent 3 years, there is this torture day on the 1st Sunday of every December. It’s the Standard Chartered Marathon! Why had I named it torture? Simply due to the fact that I always went for the race with insufficient training. Most people consider those that completed the marathon as a great feat and that shows how determined the single person is. I think otherwise. To me, those who took part in the race prepared and had gone through the constant months of progressive improvement are the ones to be praised of.
Anyway, the consequences of taking part in the race without adequate training are tons of aches and a few hours of intense torture. I did feel slightly contented that I improved from the previous year by half and hour but I had this stirred up feeling of regrets and anger for not maintaining the training and endure for a better result. There were many happenings during and in between my training period which will be too troublesome to mention but still not good reasons for the lack of training.
During the race, I started well for the first 21km of run, maintaining a six minute per kilometer pace. All disasters start from here. Leg cramps and aches at every single parts of the body came. I have long forgotten those feeling. Reminds me of my first marathon run and definitely wakes me up from my dream since I have almost forgotten such feelings. Ironically, the pain reminds me of life and joy of staying alive. So I have to promise myself that it is finally time to fight. Giving my every last bit and one promise I have given myself for the race every year. To run faster and be more prepared for it.
So the next day was work once again. The pain was not too good to endure and work was seriously boring and dry. I had wanted to quit on my first day of work till even now. Still, it is a job and not a career and it’s only a 2 months job. I don’t like where I am situated in the office, not the people there, not the job scope I was given and not the motivation I am supposingly receiving. I received a very unwelcome comment from my direct superior today. Was commented on being very ‘on the dot’ for sending in my report and I felt that was totally not needed. If that was meant to be a joke, where was the joke? If it was not meant to be one, why was the need for such a sarcastic remark? If I was incompetent, she just had to tell me straight into my face or sack me straight. Shooting out brainless comments in front of a crowd is definitely not a good way to show leadership or how witty a leader she is. Anyway I do not think I owe the company anything by forcing myself to stay longer by those extra seconds to prove how much or hard I worked. I have decided to draw the line clear. This is my part time job and not my career and the amount of effort I put in will be what I deem right. I don’t need another incident to ruin my already bad day.
On a totally other issue, I believe a real friend is one who can detect how you feel real deep inside no matter how well you camouflage it up or put on a fake appearance. I don’t know how many everyone have but I am just glad I have a few such friends who know how hurt I am even when I am almost always putting on a smiley face to pass through it. I appreciate it deeply for those friends of mine and although I did not tell you personally which is just me but it is all kept in my memories and well cherished. There are even people who met me lesser then ten times yet know me better then a lot others who have seen me like a thousand and one times. I am not about to start on the other kind of friends who know me neither way and take steps to be my closest and bestest best friend. Maybe in another blog, at another time.
I am not about to let my entry end with a negative cloud hanging around. I would like to congratulate AS 23 for grabbing the win after a month’s break. So in another few hours time Man Utd will be grabbing another win under their club name and so will my life. Like what I say, negativity will end this moment and my life will be positive and bright. Its time to fight and I am officially reborn, I promise.
Pictures will wait. In a couple of days.
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