Sleepish me

Oh yes~ I took my off today and had such a great sleep at home. But to be frank, I am feeling so very tired now still. I'm getting weak and so its time to train back my fitness. How many times in life have you wonder what are you going to do tomorrow, the week after, the following month, the coming years... in the future? I have pondered over it for a while and still I have very vague ideas. My life is coming to a halt soon, my ideas and motivation that is...

So very often lately I have been lost in space. Time didn't stop as the following action occurs. I think I am lost, not the first time nor is it the last. I need some guidance from someone, anyone and perhaps everyone. But...

Lately, I am hiding truth. I learnt to not talk about everything under the sun. I resisted from speaking my mind. I learn to speak from your view. I am not me anymore. I am adapting to be you... To me, this is ‘fake’ and I call it, 'The voice leaking from within the mask, Withstanded'. Many times, very often in the past, I speak my mind. People got pissed from hearing the truth, what I felt and what is good for them. So by not telling them now am I the devil now? I don't hurt them but do not treat them. They are left to rot. Am I wrong? I think I have walked towards the evil side to join hell. But how many angels are left in this world? And just how many people actually cared from inside?

Someone told me how much he missed the younger days. How free the world can be, how time can never be wasted and how nice everything was. Nothing seems to be able to go wrong. What are love, money and stress? They never seem to be present in the past. At least, its so for my friend and me. However what he is saying is something we call memories. It is no longer useful in the FuTuRe. Memories are something that you know and future is anything that can happen to you and the things and people in your surrounding.

Don't blame me for being so negative in life. This is just me. I cannot be myself in real life but at least let me be myself in here. Not 100% but at least a 30% relieves me. Being negative is not good for health. Who won't know this? But I might be negative in my typing but my life will not be so.

My Happy Ending..